the truth of the world is this: you don't always get what you want, in the way you want it, and nothing worth having comes without cost. for tadashi, the price cuts deep, scoring into the love he carries for ainosuke. in punishing ainosuke, aiichiro sent a message to them both: tadashi is icarus, flown too close to the blazing, glorious sun that is ainosuke and his warmth. and ainosuke, whose gentleness and kindness and loneliness is at odds with the loveless shindo manor, where violence and cruelty is couched as love, hemmed into ainosuke's very being.
tadashi can only watch, because love commands its very own sacrifice -- to protect ainosuke is to be removed from his presence forever, left without a chance to atone for his sins or to protect him as best as he can. ainosuke is a monster of their making, his and the shindos both, but what is a monster if not a lonely, loving creature bereft of the love he craves?
something else has broken between them throughout the course of this evening (and the past few days), something that has kept them locked together in an impossible impasse. in the pieces of it is ainosuke at his weakest, broken and needy and wounded, and tadashi will do anything to put him back together properly, to show that weakness is not wrong, that he will honour him without question or shame. he will nurse the flame of that nascent warmth, a silent partner instead of the serpent coiled lovingly around his heart.
he feels that shiver down his spine, and tadashi gently loosens the bones that keep the outfit closed. one by one, he undoes the catches, up until he's done, and he reverently, delicately sets it aside. undressing his beloved master, his ainosuke is a ritual in itself, and his hands are impossibly gentle, sliding up underneath the smooth material, over heated, tense skin and coiled muscles. he peels it off slow, easing past those broad shoulders, and it is tadashi's lips that press over the bruises that were once there, along the line between neck and shoulder.
he steps closer, bold. his sins are incalculable, but ainosuke is the only one who can give him absolution. ]
Let me help your body remember me. Let me have tonight with you.
[ please. tadashi misses him so very, very much that he aches with it. ]
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the truth of the world is this: you don't always get what you want, in the way you want it, and nothing worth having comes without cost. for tadashi, the price cuts deep, scoring into the love he carries for ainosuke. in punishing ainosuke, aiichiro sent a message to them both: tadashi is icarus, flown too close to the blazing, glorious sun that is ainosuke and his warmth. and ainosuke, whose gentleness and kindness and loneliness is at odds with the loveless shindo manor, where violence and cruelty is couched as love, hemmed into ainosuke's very being.
tadashi can only watch, because love commands its very own sacrifice -- to protect ainosuke is to be removed from his presence forever, left without a chance to atone for his sins or to protect him as best as he can. ainosuke is a monster of their making, his and the shindos both, but what is a monster if not a lonely, loving creature bereft of the love he craves?
something else has broken between them throughout the course of this evening (and the past few days), something that has kept them locked together in an impossible impasse. in the pieces of it is ainosuke at his weakest, broken and needy and wounded, and tadashi will do anything to put him back together properly, to show that weakness is not wrong, that he will honour him without question or shame. he will nurse the flame of that nascent warmth, a silent partner instead of the serpent coiled lovingly around his heart.
he feels that shiver down his spine, and tadashi gently loosens the bones that keep the outfit closed. one by one, he undoes the catches, up until he's done, and he reverently, delicately sets it aside. undressing his beloved master, his ainosuke is a ritual in itself, and his hands are impossibly gentle, sliding up underneath the smooth material, over heated, tense skin and coiled muscles. he peels it off slow, easing past those broad shoulders, and it is tadashi's lips that press over the bruises that were once there, along the line between neck and shoulder.
he steps closer, bold. his sins are incalculable, but ainosuke is the only one who can give him absolution. ]
Let me help your body remember me. Let me have tonight with you.
[ please. tadashi misses him so very, very much that he aches with it. ]