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ainosuke shindo ([personal profile] edensempty) wrote2021-07-07 01:03 pm
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aftermath.

[personal profile] woofplays 2021-07-11 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
[ tadashi has always prided himself on being able to anticipate ainosuke's needs and to meet his often incredibly challenging demands, no matter the nature of it. it's what he has sworn himself to do, but in his unwavering devotion to ainosuke's goals and successes, he's missed out on one awfully crucial, important thing: that what shindo ainosuke really, truly wants has been under his nose all along.

what they had once, what they had lost, what they could never quite have in its purest form again; and it had been langa who taught it to ainosuke. tadashi would pay with his entire life for choosing not to stand up to ainosuke's father, and he will bear the burden of ainosuke's distaste and loathing, but what he's missed are the underlying signs of ainosuke's desire for more, couched in desperate, over-the-top overtures and twisted bids for attention. his attention, beyond the confines of their daily work schedules and ainosuke's professional growth.

after all, tadashi had been the one to teach him how to skate, the serpent according adam (not eve), the fruit from the tree of knowledge, and here they are.

here they are, with adam having to deal with another loss, a reminder that not even the brightest star in the sky is infallible. after all, stars collapse all the time. this time, like the others, tadashi will be here to pick up the pieces and lovingly put him back together again.

tadashi faithfully takes him home, his beloved, treasured, capricious and damaged master. he has a better understanding of him now -- oddly enough, illuminated by reki and langa both, and this time, instead of immediately running the bath once they reach his room, tadashi closes the door behind him with a quiet click.

he understands a little more, now, and he wonders if it's still too late. ]


Mr Ainosuke. [ he says quietly, stepping close and gently brushing the small of his back, seeking permission in silence. ] If I may...?
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-07-12 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
[ the wall between them is a necessary mistake.

the truth of the world is this: you don't always get what you want, in the way you want it, and nothing worth having comes without cost. for tadashi, the price cuts deep, scoring into the love he carries for ainosuke. in punishing ainosuke, aiichiro sent a message to them both: tadashi is icarus, flown too close to the blazing, glorious sun that is ainosuke and his warmth. and ainosuke, whose gentleness and kindness and loneliness is at odds with the loveless shindo manor, where violence and cruelty is couched as love, hemmed into ainosuke's very being.

tadashi can only watch, because love commands its very own sacrifice -- to protect ainosuke is to be removed from his presence forever, left without a chance to atone for his sins or to protect him as best as he can. ainosuke is a monster of their making, his and the shindos both, but what is a monster if not a lonely, loving creature bereft of the love he craves?

something else has broken between them throughout the course of this evening (and the past few days), something that has kept them locked together in an impossible impasse. in the pieces of it is ainosuke at his weakest, broken and needy and wounded, and tadashi will do anything to put him back together properly, to show that weakness is not wrong, that he will honour him without question or shame. he will nurse the flame of that nascent warmth, a silent partner instead of the serpent coiled lovingly around his heart.

he feels that shiver down his spine, and tadashi gently loosens the bones that keep the outfit closed. one by one, he undoes the catches, up until he's done, and he reverently, delicately sets it aside. undressing his beloved master, his ainosuke is a ritual in itself, and his hands are impossibly gentle, sliding up underneath the smooth material, over heated, tense skin and coiled muscles. he peels it off slow, easing past those broad shoulders, and it is tadashi's lips that press over the bruises that were once there, along the line between neck and shoulder.

he steps closer, bold. his sins are incalculable, but ainosuke is the only one who can give him absolution. ]


Let me help your body remember me. Let me have tonight with you.

[ please. tadashi misses him so very, very much that he aches with it. ]
Edited (I SAW TYPOS) 2021-07-12 09:22 (UTC)
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-07-13 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
I won't.

[ tadashi says quietly, firmly, two syllables cutting through the chaos of ainosuke's roiling emotions. in the wake of the breakdown, he knows, too, that ainosuke has never been more vulnerable, the sea of pain and anger and turmoil and the impossible longing, hurting and raw across the chasm they have made for themselves.

tadashi aches for him, his heart clenching at the sight of ainosuke like he's never seen before, in the limited moonlight, crimson eyes blazing in the dark. ainosuke has suffered for years, hurting and lashing out, and tadashi has taken everything that he has to dole out. he looks up into that handsome, pale face, reminded of what remains after a storm, and he reaches to cup his cheek.

the chips have fallen where they ought, and tadashi has been given leave to finally bridge the distance. so bridge he does, cupping ainosuke's face with unyielding tenderness, bolstered by his unwavering, unrelenting love for him, no matter the weight of his transgressions. tadashi has sinned against him, but his desire for redemption is part of what brought them here, securing ainosuke in his loneliness.

his other hand smoothes up to splay possessively over the span of his back. he coils around ainosuke again, his lips pressing against the side of his mouth. ainosuke is heartbreakingly beautiful when he falls apart, but tadashi will put him back together again. ]


I will never leave you, I promise.

[ ainosuke is the light of his life, the one thing that tadashi finds himself orbiting around, for better or worse. he doesn't look away when they're practically nose to nose, and it is now or never for tadashi, to bridge that gap anew and to fill the emptiness with everything he has ever wanted to tell him. he has left his own feelings buried for too long, his love for ainosuke hidden underneath guilt and penance. guilt, it seems, is a paralyser that has dammed them both.

tadashi's next words are just as raw, just as true. in the mire of muddled words and the fierce desperation of long-buried sentiment, tadashi will provide clarity. ]


I love you. I never stopped.
Edited 2021-07-13 00:09 (UTC)
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-07-13 01:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[ his confession must feel like a slap in the face, or the sting of a switch on open, trembling palms, the painful welts sealing a solid declaration of love, that it must not be love if there is no pain. and pain is all that ainosuke has known all his life, his own needs subordinate to the vanity of the shindo family, that he is only as good as what his aunts can boast about while his father rots in his grave.

tadashi's heart breaks when he hears that sob, the unwelcome reminder that ainosuke has willingly swallowed the lies of those who falsely pledged to love him, unable to face the horror of their selfishness and unfettered desires, with him serving only as a tool for progress. tadashi has watched it all unfold, forced to keep his silence or forever be torn from his beloved's side, but here and now is a shining moment to mend the tattered pieces of his psyche, to show, as he never could, what it means to be loved.

he aches to love ainosuke, to coil around him so tightly that all ainosuke can do is breathe him in. it is a bold thought, terrifying and exhilarating all at once, and he feels the shake of those shoulders, the hot, wet sting of his tears as ainosuke sinks to his knees and cries, finally spilling what langa has broken open. tadashi, who can never bear to see him alone in his hurt, finally has a chance to make things right, to get on his knees together with him, pressing his lips to those tears, kissing them away.

his hand comes to curl in that thick, unruly hair, cradling the back of his head to him. he knows his master, he knows the words that catch in his throat, thick like the blood in his moth. he doesn't have to ask, he doesn't have to beg -- tadashi will happily rend himself to pieces on the knife-sharp edges of ainosuke's whims; he will ache for the way ainosuke tears into him and leaves him bleeding. ainosuke loves him like a forest fire, grand and uncontrolled and wild and just as beautiful, and he grips his hair just a little tighter, forcing him to look at him.

oh, his lovely, lovely ainosuke. tadashi has been silent for far too long, suppressing his own heart, his own desires -- tonight, he can bear his own reticence no longer. ]


I know exactly what it means to love you.

[ ainosuke, adam, with all of his cruelty and his violence, his obsessions and his desperation, the heart that never stopped bleeding for his sake. another kiss, another. tadashi lovingly tastes the salt of ainosuke's tears, claiming them for himself. tadashi's love is tender but unyielding, painless but overwhelming, different. here. he has always been here, before adam, before eden. after all, he helped create them both.

his other hand cups ainosuke's face now, lips barely inches from his as he meets his eyes again. don't run away from him, ainosuke, not this time. tadashi, quietly determined, lets his own passion show, green eyes dark and intent. ]


I remain yours to do with as you wish. [ he leans in deeper, before finally pressing the softest of kisses to his mouth, sealing a promise. ] Let me give you what you need.
Edited 2021-07-13 13:37 (UTC)
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-07-14 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ what adam needs is something tadashi sees even more clearly than the man himself. but then again, it's not a surprise -- ainosuke has fought to survive, to exist and live on his own, underneath the thumb of his aunts and the family name. tadashi still remembers the scars on his forearms, the way ainosukes hides tears, how he has grown into a twisted version of himself, desperate to believe that what they've done to him is love.

it still makes him sick, and the memory of it twists in tadashi's gut as he feels ainosuk's uncertainty, grappling with the different versions of love he presented to him. but tadashi's heart is irrevocably his; it has been his the moment tadashi spotted the young boy peeking over the hedge at him. he feels the roughness of that tuck, the aching pain in his scalp, but he knows that ainosuke's is only operating on what he knows.

there's a storm that roars in the sea of his gaze, but tadashi is the harbour that he will return to, his own calm reflected in the depths of his eyes, and he parts his mouth to kiss him back with a low, approving moan, telegraphing his intent, his need for him in turn. tadashi needs him like a drowning man needs air, and as ainosuke's own defenses fail, tadashi wastes no time flooding his senses, filling his helplessness with his strength, his own passion.

he offers his own heart up in sacrifice but he takes ainosuke's, too, coiling around his heart and squeezing. his hands move now, span down over the muscles of his chest, his abs, down and down to push the rest of his costume off him. he licks into his mouth fiercely, firmly claiming his mouth for another kiss, another, another, pushing the costume down to his thighs.

he's pushing him back onto the carpet, intent on getting the last of that outfit off of him, his hands possessive, roaming, breaking the kiss only to press heated ones down his neck, over his collarbone. he moves above him, caging him down with his own limbs. ]


I need you, Ainosuke-sama. [ he breathes, raw and fierce, finally allowing himself his own agency. they are laying foundations anew, stretching across the ruins of what they were, and tadashi knows it's now or never. he will take his master's bleeding heart inside of his own and tend it. his free hand slips between his legs now, palming his balls, thumbing up the thick root of his cock to reacquaint himself with him. then, again, because he needs to hear it, because tadashi wants to push the memory of his aunts' words out of ainosuke's mind, little by little. after all, serpents are territorial creatures. ] I love you.
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-07-17 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ here they are again, and ainosuke is a revelation, his confession breathtaking all in itself -- and tadashi could have kicked himself for it as it all falls into place, the pieces that were scattered when tadashi chose silence and turned away from ainosuke, a necessary sacrifice if only to be by his side, loathed and hated.

ainosuke has always loved him, and the truth of it makes him pause, looking up to see if it's true, to search his gaze for confirmation, that he has always loved him, that even through that well-deserved spite and anger, he --

-- his breath catches, and tadashi lets go of him only to make quick work of his jacket, shirt, pants, helping him with it and kicking the rest off, craving to feel his skin against his all over again. this time, he thinks, this time it's different, this encounter charged not with anger and rage but desperation and passion, vulnerability threaded in every movement.

he tosses the last article of his clothing aside with a low groan and cups his face to connect with his lips in a proper kiss, unable to keep a soft noise of heartache, of wonder, of painful, wonderful longing. he's leaning into his touch, and when he breaks the kiss, his hands smooth down the solid length of his body, memorising him for himself all over again.

ainosuke is lovely, charged like a livewire underneath him, and so rarely is tadashi allowed to touch him that he gluts on it, memorising every inch of him anew. he bites gently, tasting him, giving in to everything that the younger man seeks from him. here it is now, the pleasure rediscovered, and he breaks the kiss to trail hungry lips down his neck, his collarbone, his chest, right over his heart. ]


I've missed you. [ he murmurs, low and quiet, fingers rubbing over the divot of his hipbones, possessive and soothing in equal measure. it's bold, the words that he's put between them, but he has, and his kisses betray his longing. he will show him what love is, all over again. he will make his body remember just what it really is, his hands coming to part his thighs firmly, thumbing over the sensitive inside of them as he savours everything that ainosuke is willing to give to him. ] Let me remind you --
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-07-18 02:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ they should get to the bed to do this, tadashi knows, but every shred of good sense has flown out the window in the wake of ainosuke's greedy permission, the matching ravenous nature of ainosuke's desire. it's like the floodgates have opened after years of being banished to the scorching desert. parched of ainosuke's favour and love, tadashi has only sought to survive and exist by his side, never allowing himself to want more.

after all, it is tadashi that had turned away first, putting up the wall between them that ainosuke had kept up out of spite and betrayal and hurt and pain, crumbling in places as the years wore on.

and now, here, this permission is as invigorating as it is intoxicating, as is the way ainosuke opens up to him now, those gorgeous crimson red eyes burning for him. tadashi shares the same madness, the burning, scorching fever of desire that makes him press his mouth to the inside of his thigh, to kiss and lick and gently nip and worship. he doesn't miss how his beloved master opens up so eagerly to him, a veritable feast for the taking.

so take he does, committing every precious inch of him to memory anew -- the last time they had done this was a lifetime ago, and he can't help the thudding of his heart as he nuzzles his cheek against the bob of his long, thick cock, massive when jutting proudly between firmly muscled thighs. he makes his way down, down, nosing against the softness of his plump, full sac, before pressing his tongue to the patch of skin underneath. ainosuke is so very beautiful in this light, magnificent and willing and no longer the young man once tangled in him. he smells like clean musk and light sweat, so very much like him that tadashi finds himself burning for him, relishing those fingers in his hair while he licks his own and seeks him out, a single finger pressing between both those firm cheeks to trace a circle around the tight ring of his hole, gently teasing.

of course, tadashi wastes no time in sealing his intent, his love and adoration on every inch of him. watch now, darling, as tadashi proves that love doesn't come with violence or pain, and all there is is tenderness and affection, bright and unrelenting in deep green eyes. he keeps ainosuke's cock pinned against his lower abdomen, his soft lips taking his balls into his mouth, laving and licking shamelessly, a single saliva-slick finger teasing into his entrance at the same time. he finally gets to do what he's long yearned to do, reclaiming what has been his all along. ainosuke's confession still rings in his ears, making him giddy, but now, first, he wants to please him and make him come, make him understand just how much he's loved.

they've lost so much time, tadashi won't allow him to waste a minute more. ]
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-07-22 01:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[ tadashi's attentions are penance, worship, a bold adoration of him in every stroke, every kiss. ainosuke writhes and claws at him so sweetly that tadashi, too, shares in his madness, in the obscene wonder of his love. ainosuke is priceless, is everything that he has ever wanted all of his life, and he can almost taste his master's indecision, his ainosuke's passion and wonder.

here they are, crossing every imaginable line possible, drawing together like they have before, as if the years between them are inconsequential. and perhaps they are, especially when tadashi already knows every inch of his body so intimately. he explores him anew, delighted when he hears his throaty purr for more -- goodness, how it sends him spiraling, how ainosuke's pleasure is his own, how he adores him to no end, that he draws out of him and gently coaxes him onto his hands and knees. ]


I will, I promise.

[ he murmurs, gently trying to coax him over and giving him space. how his words ring so sweetly in his ears; my love, my life, my tadashi. how tadashi would die for him a hundred thousand times over, if only to be with him just like this. he will gladly be twined in a gilded cage with him, chained to his beloved, his sun and stars.

he wants to make ainosuke sing just like this, every single time. ]


Hands and knees, Ainosuke-sama. [ he's more aggressive now, urging him on. he's hungry for him, and he won't be denied. ] Let me give you everything you need.
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-08-01 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
Ainosuke-sama --

[ tadashi's words are choked when he feels the other man so cheekily, wonderfully tuck his cock between those firm, soft asscheeks. he's unable to bite back a soft moan before he grips his hip to keep him in place, pre-cum on the plump tip of his cock smearing over soft, smooth skin. he will wreck him tonight, take him apart and build him back again so that ainosuke will forever be marked by tadashi's kisses and touches, the shape of him buried deep inside of his tight, tight hole.

he feels raw, fierce, his heart pounding with every plea from those sugar-sweet lips. he captures his mouth then, passionate and searing, before he pulls away to spit onto his hand, letting it slide down to grip ainosuke's cock tight, stroking him from root to tip. he fucks him slow, snug between his thighs to rub up against his balls. ]


Come for me first. I need to get your tight little hole ready.
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-08-04 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
I remember.

[ tadashi responds, low and husky and weighted with love, with adoration. this is special, between them -- the feeling of ainosuke coming into his hand, the sudden tension that slips away so sweetly, ainosuke clinging to him like he had that fateful night, when tadashi had given all of his heart and soul to him. they were teens, then, in love and terrified and exhilarated, making love to each other amongst the intoxicating scent of blooming roses.

he presses soft kisses against the side of his neck, encouraging him, crooning soft, barely audible words of praise as he slicks his fingers up with his cum, scooping more up to slide over his own cock. it's filthy and intimate, using ainosuke's cum as lube after such a long, long while, preparing to fuck him with just it.

but it is a reunion that has been long in coming, and he gently nips at his throat before he pushes two fingers inside of him, knowing how ainosuke likes it a little rough at first. he thinks of their youth, of how he'd lost himself in ainosuke's eyes, and he searches him out to kiss his tears away again before sealing his mouth to his.

his fingers move, slow and deliberate, and his heart skips a beat when he feels just how wonderfully snug and tight he is, the way his body clings to his slippery fingers when he fucks him, nice and slow. ]


You are the most beautiful creature I've ever set my eyes on. I wanted to keep you with me in that garden forever.
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-09-11 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
[ what a strong word, forever. no one knows the infinite potential of it, no one but tadashi, who looks into ainosuke's eyes and knows that that is what he wants to do, that being with him is everything that he desires in his life. tadashi's breath catches at every warm, soft kiss, the press of roses against his warm skin, and he reaches in deeper, the tips of his fingers brushing up against where he senses the sensitive knot of nerves are.

it's overwhelming, being allowed to do this together with ainosuke again after so long -- his longing and desire almost chokes him, as do the words he never thought he would hear. they were never meant to be apart from each other, even if tadashi's inaction and ainosuke's rage and grief poisoned their bond, it was always unbreakable, and tadashi's love for ainosuke has always been absolute.

it's clearer than ever now and here, when love blossoms between them with every kiss, every touch. he pulls his fingers away now, taking the chance to slick up his own very hard, every slippery cock, yearning to bury itself inside of that tight, familiar clutch of him again.

he can do little to resist that plaintive begging, and he angles himself now, with one hand curled around his hip, the other grasping the base of his dick to gently, slowly push inside of him. he shudders with every inch that stretches ainosuke's tight little hole, and looking down into where his body is taking him in almost drives him mad.

how is it possible to be even more in love with him, recklessly, wonderfully, wretchedly so? he's halfway in when he returns the kiss, nudging him so that he can kiss him squarely on the mouth as he forces him to keep still. he wants to feel this, all of this, until he bottoms out inside him, balls pressed up against the firm globes of his ass. god, he loves his ass so much. ]


Ainosuke-sama --
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[personal profile] woofplays 2021-10-14 01:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[ tadashi gasps, breathless and panting, desperately arching forward to capture his mouth. his hand comes to grasp ainosuke's chin, tipping it upwards so he can steal kisses, counting them as he goes -- two, three, four. tadashi is splitting ainosuke open with every thrust, and he feels so impossibly good, so tight and so slick, like ainosuke's devouring him just like this.

he ruts up into him, baring his throat to ainosuke as he obeys the violence of that tug, reading the blessed desperation in those crimson eyes. ainosuke needs tadashi as much as he needs him, and in this, he's intoxicated. ]


I promise.

[ he breathes, leaning forward to kiss him again, again and again, grinding his hips into him when he bottoms out, ruthlessly pressing against the knot of sensitive nerves that tadashi had once known so intimately, so long ago. they have much to make up for, much to do together, and now is the best place to start. tadashi coaxes him on with a low moan, urging him onwards with every shallow thrust, so deep inside of him. ]

I'll stay -- come for me --